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The Bridezilla Files

Leena Manro Darpan, 09 Jun, 2014
  • The Bridezilla Files
It’s your big day, the day that you have been looking forward to your whole life – your wedding day!  So why does it sometimes feel like you are going insane, and the only way to preserve your sanity is to tear a strip off of your sisters, your friends and your neighbours every now and then? Be careful…this sounds like the road to Bridezilla-ville – a lonely, desolate place that you want to avoid at all costs. Here are a few ways to avoid the path of the dreaded Bridezilla. 
 
1) Don’t voice your innermost angst via group text, Facebook, Twitter or Instagram!  
 
The temptation to voice our innermost thoughts during our darkest hours (and bridal stress leads to some pretty dark hours) via social media is strong. However, a bride’s venting letter written during an emotional moment can quickly become a viral embarrassment. Instead, confide in a friend or sister. Not only will you feel better for privately venting about those weird in-laws, but you will get an objective opinion about the sanity of your dark thoughts. 
 
2) Never “lose it” on the people you love the most, no matter how shocking the offence. 
 
Well, perhaps never is too strong a word. If the police must be called to deal with the matter, then perhaps you are justified in losing your temper. But anything short of a criminal offence requires a calm mind. You will be remembered as being a bigger person if you don’t lose it on your baby sister for accidentally tearing her bridesmaid’s sari, specially designed by your nani in India, the day before the wedding. Instead, draw on the help from your girlfriends to fix the situation. The torn sari will probably become a funny story...in a few short years. 
 
3) Do remember, the wedding is only one day...but the marriage lasts the rest of your life.  
 
While it’s alright to be upset when it’s justifiable, you must pick and choose your battles and not get too upset over any small detail that is not up to par. If you show too much of the “Bridezilla” side of your personality to your husband and future in-laws, the memories will take a while to fade, and you’ll be known as that bride. You know who I’m talking about…we all have at least one that we still talk about.   
 
4) Keep your expectations simple, and your heart gracious. 
 
The Bridezilla might breathe fire when family and friends fail to meet unrealistic or “diva” expectations. If you get bent out of shape because your family and friends should “just know” your preferences (e.g. strawberry and not vanilla frosting on the bridal shower cupcakes), you are going down the path of the Bridezilla. Accept their generosity graciously, even if the details aren’t necessarily your taste, and watch out for setting up “diva” expectations.  
 
5) Do watch how much your bridesmaids are paying.  
 
Brides often forget that their “big day” comes at a hefty price tag to those around them. Those cute little bachelorette parties? Not free. That bridal shower? Somebody paid for it. The naughty cake, the cute police-man stripper, the party favours, gifts of lingerie, the girls trip to Vegas – all generally end up on your friends’ overdrawn credit cards. Keep budgets in mind, and you will be remembered much more favourably than your Bridezilla counterpart, who went spend crazy because she felt “worth it.”  
 
6) Don’t expect perfection. 
 
Finally, don’t expect perfection, it won’t happen. Nothing in life is perfect, but there is some universal law that heightens imperfections and disasters during weddings. There will be excessively drunk uncles. There will be spilled, pink drinks. There will be loud, unruly children. This fuels the Bridezilla’s rage, and makes her grow and spit fire on anyone in her path. Resist, be calm, do some meditation...don’t give in.    
 
Despite all the wedding stress, if you work towards keeping the Bridezilla at bay and staying calm, you will truly enjoy your wedding much more. The nuptials may not go as smoothly as you want (they rarely do), but at least the memories will be positive, and you will continue to have friends to share them with! 

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