TORONTO — Fallen radio star Jian Ghomeshi apologized publicly Wednesday to a former colleague who had accused him of sexually assaulting her at work, but she remained bitter at both what he did and at those she said enabled his lewd and offensive behaviour.
Speaking out for the first time since the scandal erupted in 2014, Ghomeshi cleared his throat and read what his lawyer said was neither an "admission or a plea" in tones that once earned him international accolades.
"I've had to come to terms with my own deep regret and embarrassment," Ghomeshi, 48, said in his two-minute statement to the court.
"I regret my behaviour at work with all of my heart and I hope that I can find forgiveness from those for whom my actions took such a toll."
The former host of the acclaimed CBC show "Q" described his behaviour toward the complainant, Kathryn Borel, as thoughtless, sexually inappropriate, demeaning, and an abuse of his power as a famous star.
He said he now realizes he had failed to understand just how much his behaviour had hurt her.
After Ghomeshi signed a year-long peace bond, the prosecutor withdrew the single charge of sexual assault for which he had been due to stand trial next month.
Outside court, Borel, who asked the court to lift a publication ban on her identity, pulled no punches in her assessment of Ghomeshi or the public broadcaster.
"Everyday, over a three-year period, Mr. Ghomeshi made it clear to me that he could do what he wanted to me and my body," Borel said.
"He made it clear that he could humiliate me repeatedly and walk away with impunity.”
At least three documented incidents of inappropriate touching occurred, she said, including the one for which he was criminally charged. In that 2008 incident, Ghomeshi came up behind her, put his hands on her hips and "rammed his pelvis against my backside over and over, simulating sexual intercourse," she said.
Borel reserved some of her harshest words for the public broadcaster, which would fire him years later, for failing to act on her complaints.
"When I went to the CBC for help, what I received was a directive that yes, he could do this, and yes, it was my job to let him," Borel said, pausing to collect herself.
"The relentless message to me from my celebrity boss and the national institution we worked for were that his whims were more important than my humanity and my dignity."
In response, spokesman Chuck Thompson said the CBC took full responsibility for what had occurred, saying it should never have happened. The CBC, he said, has now acted to prevent a recurrence.
"We've taken the initiatives to ensure each and every day that people come to a safe and respectful workplace," Thompson said.
Borel, who left the CBC because of the abuse and now works in California, said she accepted Ghomeshi's apology as the "clearest path to the truth" because a trial would have allowed him to continue denying guilt.
She noted he had only said sorry to her, not to any of the other women who have accused him of punching, choking and smothering them.
"We all want this to be over, but it won't be until he admits to everything he's done," she said.
In March, Ghomeshi was acquitted on sexual assault and choking charges related to three other complainants for incidents that occurred in 2002 and 2003. The judge said he simply didn't believe their testimony.
One of the three woman, Linda Redgrave, said after Wednesday's hearing that she, too, wanted an apology.
"I would like to hear him say he was sorry. I would like to hear him admit that he did what he did to me, and I actually want to know why," said Redgrave, who has also agreed to be identified.
"He's admitting to wrongdoing only by force; he was forced into it with this peace bond. Where's my apology?"
Unlike the acquittal in March which sparked a raucous courthouse protest and emotionally charged debate over how the justice system treats sexual-assault complainants, the scene Wednesday was far more subdued. A handful of demonstrators stood quietly with banners that read, "We believe survivors" and "Rape is rape."
The peace bond, valid for a year, which is not a finding of guilt, calls on Ghomeshi to stay away from Borel and not possess weapons.
Ghomeshi's lawyer, Marie Henein, told Ontario court judge Timothy Lipson that the resolution was not an "admission." Her client, she said, had been through 18 months of unprecedented public scrutiny and he had come through it with "dignity."
"With this apology, Mr. Ghomeshi has done everything that the Crown and the courts have asked him to do," Henein said.
Prosecutor Michael Callaghan said the apology shows Ghomeshi accepts responsibility for his actions and the harm done to Borel — something he called a "valuable consequence" of the resolution.
Lipson said he accepted the outcome knowing Borel had "significant" input into a resolution he called "entirely reasonable and appropriate" given the circumstances.
Ghomeshi went silent after a Facebook posting in October 2014 in which he said he enjoyed "rough sex" but said it was always consensual. He did not speak after Wednesday's hearing.
'I HOPE THAT I CAN FIND FORGIVENESS:' TEXT OF APOLOGY FROM JIAN GHOMESHI
TORONTO — Former CBC radio star Jian Ghomeshi apologized in court Wednesday to a former colleague who had accused him of sexually assaulting her at work. The charge of sexual assault — which he had pleaded not guilty to — was withdrawn and he signed a peace bond. His lawyer said the resolution of the case was not an admission. Here is a text of Ghomeshi's apology:
I apologize to Ms. (Kathryn) Borel for my behaviour towards her in the workplace. In the last 18 months, I have spent a great deal of time reflecting on this incident and the difficulties I caused Ms. Borel and I have had to come to terms with my own deep regret and embarrassment.
I enjoyed a position of privilege in my job at the CBC as the host of a program I loved. I was a person in a position of authority and leadership and I did not show the respect that I should have to Ms. Borel.
I did not always lead by example and I failed to understand and truly appreciate the impact of my conduct on Ms. Borel's work environment. That conduct in the workplace was sexually inappropriate. I realize that there is no way for me to know the full impact on her personally and professionally.
I now recognize that I crossed boundaries inappropriately. A workplace should not have any sexualized tone. I failed to understand how my words and actions would put a coworker who was younger than me, and in a junior position to mine, in an uncomfortable place.
I did not appreciate the damage that I caused and I recognize that no workplace friendship or creative environment excuses this sort of behaviour, especially when there is a power imbalance as there was with Ms. Borel. This incident was thoughtless and I was insensitive to her perspective and how demeaning my conduct was towards her.
I understand this now. This is a challenging business to be in and I did not need to make it more difficult for Ms. Borel. The past 18 months have been an education for me. I have reflected deeply and have been working hard to address the attitudes that led me, at the time, to think this was acceptable.
I apologize to my family for letting them down and in particular for the impact that all of this has had on my dear mother and my sister. I apologize for the burden my actions have placed on those dear friends who have stood by me throughout this difficult time.
I regret my behaviour at work with all of my heart and I hope that I can find forgiveness from those for whom my actions took such a toll.
